Something a little different..

Okay so, this blog post may be a little different to my other blog posts? Why you ask?

Because -

1. I’m actually at home for once, I’m not in another country avoiding the grey UK weather

and

2. I just wanted to write about something different okay? Cool… lets go.

So, to be completely transparent, this blog post stems from a story I saw a girl post on IG, about being in her single girl era and how it’s so empowering and I thought, you go girl.

Then it got me thinking… and if you know me, overthinking is a key transferable skill on my CV so I fell down a self love rabbit hole and wanted to write about it.

Without sounding like a TikTok therapist, I’m a firm believer that ‘love’ is so much more than falling in deep passionate love with someone. I feel like you can fall in love with so many people in a life time, for the smallest of reasons. Showing love doesn’t have to be grand gestures, or necessarily something ‘romantic’, but instead, it could be someone buying you a coffee or completing an extremely mundane task which you were avoiding doing - (yes Mum, I know you’re reading this and I’m talking about the laundry). I don’t think love needs to be defined as romantic or restricted to a parter or spouse, but you can fall in love with friends, family, places, sunsets, food, people you just…meet and most importantly yourself.

The reason I say most importantly yourself, is because what I’ve realised most, is we actually never truly learn to love ourselves. Some people do, and shoutout to them, but majority of us are bursting with love, for anything and everyone aside from the one person that needs it most - ourselves.

Wow deep aren’t I?

I feel like I truly started my ‘self love’ journey earlier this year and it started with taking trips and going to places I wanted to go to, doing things that I wanted to do, eating food which I actually liked and enjoying my own company.

I’m a firm believer that everyone in your life enters for a reason, and if you actually take a step back and let things play out without trying to force, control, mediate or direct, you’ll see exactly why they came around, whether it be forever, for a season or for a reason. It all makes sense at some point.

So to get a little personal, I was in a super long term relationship a little while ago and it definitely ran past it’s expiry date a long time before it ended. Kinda like those sauce bottles you have in the back of your fridge that you really need to throw out.

Do I regret it? No, because it made me who I am today. Do I wish I knew how to love myself before getting into a long term relationship? Of course, because it’s so easy to lose yourself, when you don’t love yourself.

Leaving my relationship genuinely left me unsure of who I actually was. From the smallest of things, I wasn’t sure what my favourite food was, or what I truly liked to do for fun. The only thing I have always stuck by is how J. Cole is and always will be the coldest artist out there. Cole World.

Jokes aside, I had no clue who I was, and it was the scariest but most thrilling feeling. So if you’re at that point in life right now, whether it’s from leaving a relationship, friendship, workplace - whatever it may be. Embrace it.

Imagine dating someone you really like, and you’re so excited to find out everything about them, that’s essentially what you’re doing, but you’re getting to know the most important person you’ll ever meet - you.

All I can compare the first few months after leaving my relationship to is, imagine a child learning to ride a bike for the first time without those safety wheels? Yeah that, but maybe blindfolded.

I had no clue what I was doing, I was venturing out into adult life, single and honestly? The trenches.

This blog isn’t going to be a little post relationship diary so apologies for any of you waiting for any juicy gossip because that’s not happening, but more about celebrating self love and highlighting the journey.

I feel like there’s probably so many girls and guys, on their self love journey right now, single or not, the same way I’m still on mine and if I’ve got any advice, it would be -

1. Your timing and everyone else’s timing, is completely different and not comparable, there’s no rule book to how things ‘should be’ or what you ‘should do’

2. A favourite quote of mine - La vita é bella - Life is beautiful - you don’t need life changing milestones to experience joy. Notice joy in the small things, such as a first sip of coffee, a stunning sunset or a long laugh with a loved one.

3. Leave your comfort zone, and in my case this was leaving the UK as much as possible - visiting new places, meeting new people and eating different food is by far my favourite thing to do, and it really helps you find out who you are, and what you really like.

4. And finally - the world is a mirror of your thoughts, you never wait for the mirror to smile at you first.

This year I can honestly say I’ve met some of the best people, I’ve drank some amazing wine, watched sunsets from all over the world and truly fell in love with me and who I am… and honestly, she’s lit.

So with that, I’m going to drop some pictures below to really romanticise this blog post, because romanticising life is one of my other key skills. So enjoy looking at some moments this year that I really loved.

And to the girl from the IG story post that unknowingly inspired me to write this blog - you got this hunnyyyyyy!

Until next time x