The good shit.

I noticed I always tend to write blogs when I travel, Nic’s travel diaries. But I actually enjoy writing about anything and everything, I guess it’s therapeutic - you should see my notes app. I used to write about what I was up to, what event I’d executed or what campaign I’d been working on, but then as I was swiping through LinkedIn - definitely a millennial thing, I found myself thinking about work, life, climbing the corporate ladder (or not), finding a job that actually fits you, and all the messy bits in between. So I thought, yeah…let me write about that.

It’s relatable, right?

Anyways, the last 2 years have been a rollercoaster in terms of my career and now I’m writing this, I realise I actually hate rollercoasters, so maybe I need to get off?

My Mum always says you keep living the same situation in different ways until you finally learn your lesson. Maybe I need to tattoo that across my forehead, just as a reminder.

After I left size? I wrote a blog post called ‘Sunset SZN’, about leaving one period of your life behind but excited for the sun to rise on another chapter, a beautiful metaphor. (I enjoyed English at school, can you tell).

My time ended at size? and I honestly, truly thought I’d just dive straight into another career and be there for another 5+ years. Well thats what thought did.

After spending a bit of time freelancing I dived back into work as an influencer manager at boohooMAN and honestly - didn’t love it. Similar to when you leave a relationship and you can’t compare your next one to your last one, you also can’t do this with work, and I can stand on that hill, because let me tell you, my boyfriend is the absolute polar opposite of my previous relationship, in the best way - exactly the reason why I’ll happily make him cheese bagels at 3am or give him a foot rub after a hard day at football. I digress.

What I’m trying to say is when I left size? I was ready for a new chapter but stuck in an old one. I started comparing new roles to my role at size? - a role I’d worked 5+ years to get to, a role that I’d shaped but had also shaped me. So of course I started comparing new jobs to my old one, even though I was ready for change and new things.

So I quit. It was the beginning of May, my boyfriends off season was pending, I was unhappy at work and we booked a holiday, so I left, with no plans, no jobs lined up and literally no worry, because in the back of my mind, I knew it would all work out.

Now if you know me (my favourite line if you haven’t gathered already) you know I’m really into manifestation, the law of detachment and all that stuff and you know what, I’ll stand on that hill as well and say, it works. Every time in life when I’ve stressed about something, it’s taken longer, yet every time I’ve envisaged something I want, genuinely believed it would come to fruition and let the universe do it’s thing, it’s happened. Afterwards I always have a moment, where the life I wanted and knew was coming arrives and I sit quietly with myself and say ‘told you so Nicole’.

Honestly, I need to listen to myself more.

I watched a TikTok recently, and let me share it with you, because I’ve told anyone that would listen to me about it. If you’re into manifestation, you’ll know this already, but for some reason, this simple explanation absolutely blew my mind.

Your life is a reflection of your thoughts, almost like a game you’re constantly coding.
Every belief, every story you tell yourself, every internal thought becomes part of the ‘program’ that runs your reality. You’re not just playing the game, you’re the one writing it.

Think of it like this: if you looked in a mirror and saw spaghetti on your face, you wouldn’t try to wipe the mirror clean, you’d wipe your face.
It’s the same with life. If you’re not happy with what you see around you, the solution isn’t to try and fix the external, it’s to look inward and shift the thoughts, beliefs, and patterns creating it.

Your reality doesn’t change until you change. Reprogram the thoughts and the game shifts with you.

So we went on holiday, we came back and we moved to Wales and job hunting actually became pretty hard, because there isn’t many places in South Wales which do fashion marketing. It seems like the main hubs are in London and Manchester. Now this might sound crazy, but I remember stood on our driveway, looking at my boyfriends car at the time, I was in a rental because my car blew up (note to self, always check the oil and don’t turn up the radio if you hear a weird noise) and I was like, I see us having matching cars but I want a bigger one, I see myself in a role where I travel around, something to expand my skillset, because I’d probably need it in another chapter I haven’t unlocked yet.

I put it out into the universe and the universe delivered.

Let me put a few pictures down below to show you.

I started a new role, they gave me a car which surprisingly was the same make and colour as my boyfriends and my job required me to travel all over the UK and Ireland as well as Belgium. It was fun and it definitely got me out of the rut I was in. It gave me loads of new skills and experience that I knew my CV and LinkedIn would benefit from.

Now let me flip this on it’s head and talk about the other side of my mind. Shout out to the person who read my last blog and said ‘I wish you’d write longer ones’… well honey, here you go - grab a merlot because I’m still going.

They say when you hit 25 your frontal lobe develops. I agree.

I hit 25 and my whole life, mood, energy, outlook, tolerance for bullshit, confidence in myself did a 180.

Then in your late 20’s you, well I, just had this desire to jump off the hamster wheel.

Now it might just be me, so I can only speak for myself, but I spent my college years prepping for university, my university years prepping for the real world and then climbing the corporate ladder and by my late 20’s I kinda just didn’t want to anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have dreams and nightmares… I used to pray for times like this to rhyme like this… I’m joking, but seriously, I still have dreams of course, I’m still very aspirational but I also just appreciate the small, slow stuff. I don’t want kids yet, I’m not ready, I’m still enjoying being Nicole not Mum, but I enjoy going to work, finishing, coming home, cooking a nice dinner for my boyfriend and I, playing some Erykah Badu, cleaning our space and sitting in the garden with a glass of wine and enjoying the slow moments.

Now I’m not saying you can’t climb the corporate ladder and still do those things, damn I know women climbing the corporate ladder, raising kids, doing degrees and the rest, but I guess I don’t really want to… right now anyways.

What I’m trying to say is for many years my career was at the forefront of everything, my weekends were taken up with events, my evenings were spent planning the next day, everything centred around work, whereas I’m in a place where I want life to come first and work to fit in, for work to be part of my identity, not all of it.

I still enjoy work and when I’m working I’m invested, I still get a thrill out of building campaigns and executing events, I love an organised desktop and a creative deck, but I also love switching off and enjoying life as well. I’m not bothered about being right at the top, sometimes it’s fun to sit on the sidelines - it’s probably why I’ve always been drawn to marketing and account management. There’s something fulfilling about shaping the story, pulling the strings, and making things happen without needing the spotlight. I guess that’s also why I met my boyfriend when I did, because his career takes centre stage, we move our life around the country so he can do what he loves and what I love to see him do.

So I wrote this blog post because honestly, I love writing, I guess it’s my hobby. ‘Tell me an interesting fact about you’… I love writing blogs online that random people in random countries seem to read (yeah I check my Squarespace reader demographics and shout out to the people in places I’ve never been, who seem to come across my blog).

But more than anything, this post is just a moment, for me, and for you.

If you’re reading this and you’re feeling torn, wondering whether you’re doing enough… or maybe too much, let this be your reminder that it’s okay. Not everything needs to be figured out. You’re allowed to pause. You’re allowed to enjoy right now, because all those little ‘right nows’ make up some of your best memories.

You don’t need to have the perfect five-year plan and if you do, amazing! (I’m sure ChatGPT helped you write it).
Kidding. Kind of.

Whatever you’re doing, or not doing, give yourself permission to be in it. To enjoy it. Because soon, today will be yesterday, and tomorrow will be right now.

I guess life is short and you can’t take your excel doc to the grave, I’m pretty sure they’re not going to put ‘Senior Account Manager’ on my tombstone, God I hope not, at least Marketing Queen. I hope they say I was fun and happy, that I had really good energy and a great ass. Maybe how good my cheese bagels were or how I was always the one to say ‘we should just get a bottle, if we’re all having a glass’… you know, the good shit.

Until next time x